Her message can apply to anyone. But as I read it, I realized how closely it connects to the challenges of living with Neuroendocrine Cancer.

Many of us know what it is like to lie awake at night, tossing and turning while our minds race. We replay problems, imagine what might happen, and search for answers that simply are not there. My family learned years ago that this kind of worrying rarely solves anything. Instead, it can leave us tired, anxious, and less able to enjoy the day ahead.

Some worries are simply part of everyday life. We worry before a new school year, a major exam, a job interview, or an important presentation. Family, work, home ownership, friendships, and finances can all bring uncertainty.

Then add a cancer diagnosis.

Suddenly, ordinary worries can become much larger. Many cancer patients discover that worry does not completely disappear, even after good test results or reassuring scans. There always seems to be another appointment, another scan, or another unknown somewhere down the road.

If we are going to live well with Neuroendocrine Cancer, we need ways to manage these worries rather than allowing them to manage us.

Ms. Grosman suggests organizing our worries. I love this idea. I am a devoted list maker and love organization!

Imagine putting your worries into three baskets. Think of it like cleaning out a closet. What should you keep and deal with? What can you give to someone else? And what do you need to simply let be?

Basket 1: Keep It and Act

The first basket holds the things that are important and that I can do something about.

For me, these include:

      • Staying informed and connected with my Neuroendocrine Cancer community.Notice something important about this basket. These are not really worries anymore. They are invitations to act.When we can identify a reasonable next step, worry can become action. And action can give us back a sense of control.

Basket 2: Rehome It

The second basket is my rehoming basket.

Some worries matter, but someone else may be better prepared to handle them.

Medical decisions are a good example. They require the knowledge and experience of our medical team. Patient portals can be useful, but reading unfamiliar test results alone can sometimes create unnecessary fear. When terminology or a result is unclear, write down your questions and discuss them with your medical team.

Other worries can be rehomed, too.

We do not have to accept every social invitation or coordinate everyone’s schedule. If an activity takes more time or energy than we have to give, it is okay to politely decline.

We also do not have to become deeply involved in other people’s choices, relationships, or opinions. We can care about people without taking responsibility for every decision they make.

Moving these concerns into the rehoming basket gives us more time and energy for the things in Basket 1, the things that truly need our attention.

Basket 3: Let It Be

The third basket contains worries that matter deeply but are mostly outside our control.

I call this the Let It Be Basket.

These worries usually do not have immediate answers. No amount of tossing and turning at 2:00 in the morning will produce a clear solution.

Cancer can bring some very difficult questions.

Am I going to die?

We all will someday. A cancer diagnosis can make us think about that reality much more often than we did before.

When am I going to die?

Most of the time, the truthful answer is: I don’t know.

Rather than spending today trying to answer a question we cannot answer, we can turn our attention back to Basket 1, to the things we can do today to care for ourselves and the people we love.

Other worries may also belong in the Let It Be Basket:

Will my children be okay?


What do other people think of me?

These questions can take up an enormous amount of space in our minds without giving us anything useful in return.

We cannot control every outcome or every person’s reaction. But we can control how we respond.

A simple piece of advice often attributed to Lou Holtz captures the idea well: Do your best. Do what is right. Show people you care.

Making the Burden Lighter

The list of worries can go on forever, if we let it.

The goal is not to pretend that worry does not exist. Cancer gives us real things to worry about. Instead, the goal is to recognize what kind of worry we are carrying and decide where it belongs.

Ask yourself:

Can I do something about this?
Put it in Basket 1 and choose a next step.

Would someone else be better able to handle this?
Put it in Basket 2 and ask for help, seek guidance, or let someone else carry it.

Is this something I cannot control or answer today?
Put it in Basket 3 and, as best you can, let it be.

We may not be able to make every burden disappear. But organizing our worries can make them feel a little lighter. It can help us spend less time struggling with things beyond our control and more time living the life that is right in front of us.

And perhaps that is the most important reminder of all:

You do not have to carry the burden of Neuroendocrine Cancer alone.

NCAN is here for you.

This information is intended for general educational purposes. Always follow the storage and disposal instructions provided with your medication and talk with your pharmacist or healthcare provider if you have questions.

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