March 1, 2024

By Anne Dabbs, 
NCAN TN Support Group Leader, NET Patient

I first heard this phrase from another NCAN Support Group Leader a few years after I was diagnosed with Neuroendocrine Cancer. It was an unfamiliar analogy for me at the time, but I grasped it’s meaning immediately. Now, a few years later, I really understand it firsthand.

An alternate title for this month’s title could be “Do as I say, not as I do.”. Yep, I’ve been down “the rabbit hole” for the past several weeks, and I can tell you it’s just not a fun place to be. It can be lonely, counterproductive, and downright scary. Falling into an emotional spiral is an unfortunate and unpleasant mental side effect from living with chronic health concerns.

A recent odd ball lab value at my semiannual PCP appointment began my personal decent. Symptoms and lab values were not in sync. Each new blood draw led to another one, and then to another one. This was an unfamiliar situation for me, and my frustration began to evolve into doubt and then fear. My normally rational brain went dormant, and I was emotionally missing in action from my everyday optimism.

“Healing is not a linear journey. There will be peaks and valleys. Enjoy the peaks and learn from the valleys.” — RD Rowland

This quote from a respected author helped me regain my footing while deep inside my lonely rabbit hole. Living with Neuroendocrine Cancer does indeed have peaks and valleys. I’ve learned to enjoy those peaks, and not to get too comfortable there and lose my perspective. Peaks are not guaranteed and oftentimes unsustainable. There will be valleys inevitably, and if we can learn from those experiences, they can become beneficial learning opportunities. I learned that I must not allow my valleys to turn into rabbit holes. I learned to retrain my overthinking.

I tried hard to think more rationally. What is the worst-case scenario currently facing me? What is the best? And which is most likely?

It helps to examine overlooked feelings that are a part of the negative thinking.
What am I really scared of? What am I most disappointed about in this situation? What am I sad about now? What am I ashamed about? Has this experience traumatized me? Do I have regrets? Identifying those separate emotions can help to reduce their power over negative thinking patterns.

It helps to schedule specific worry time. Try a 30-minute break to face your problems constructively. Avoid ruminating when there isn’t time to deal with the issues. This practice will allow you to whittle down your worry list and update action steps until you no longer have concerns.

“The human mind cannot entertain two narratives simultaneously,” says a Washington Post article from August 2023. Train yourself to let your unwanted thoughts recede, don’t push them away. Try turning your attention toward a soothing distraction instead. Find happy thoughts (yes, like Tinker Bell) and hold onto to them, tightly. Develop a more soothing language and a kinder tone toward yourself when you find yourself full of worry and stumbling toward a rabbit hole. Be kind to yourself. Learn what your best coping mechanisms are and use them. Don’t allow yourself to become comfortable in your rabbit hole. Reach out to trusted family, friends, NCAN, and health professionals to help you deal with your fears and uncertainties.

My latest test results ruled out my very worst fears. But I’m still waiting for one more result and I am not sure that I will get the complete answer I am looking for. Regardless, I have popped up out of my fearful rabbit hole and am moving forward, once again, with another puzzle piece to my health concerns.

NCAN is here to help as we navigate the challenge of living with Neuroendocrine Cancer together. Please reach out to us HERE if you need any support. No one here needs to fight alone.