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“Despite the forecast, live like it is spring.” — Lily Pulitzer

In just four months, I will reach a milestone: 10 years since my neuroendocrine cancer diagnosis. To say I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately is an understatement.

As I learned more about NET cancer, I began following the idea of the “5 Es,” known to trigger symptoms of Carcinoid Syndrome for people like me with a small bowel tumor. I had all the classic symptoms for years before I was diagnosed, so I became determined to reduce these triggers as much as possible.

Eating: I treated changing my diet like a challenge I wanted to win.
Exertion: I shifted from regular yoga to chair or senior yoga.
Ethanol: Alcohol simply stopped being enjoyable.
Epinephrine: I studied how adrenaline affects my tumors with the focus of a middle school science project.
Emotions: This one has been the hardest.

For many years, stress was a constant in my life as a mother, daughter, wife, sister, in-law, and small business owner. It wasn’t about whether I could handle it, but how much I could take on. After my diagnosis, once I understood how harmful stress could be, I worked hard to avoid it.

Now, ten years later, my tumors are still mostly stable, and I believe those efforts have helped. But looking back, I realize most of my changes have been small, except when it comes to my emotions.

I’ve changed. I now run everything through a mental filter before I act. I don’t act on impulse anymore, but I’ve also lost some spontaneity. I’m less expressive, more careful in conversations, and sometimes I hold back completely. At times, I wonder if I’ve become too cautious.

Living with cancer has a way of making you constantly reflect on your life. I’ve been living with an uncertain future, and I’m starting to wonder if part of how I’ve coped has been by quietly shutting down my emotions.

As I approach this 10-year mark, I want to celebrate, but also to shift. I want to open up more, try new things, and feel excited about life again. I want the courage to take on new challenges and even revisit dreams I once had.

Yes, my next scan could bring bad news. Life is unpredictable for everyone, not just those of us with a cancer diagnosis. But I want to focus on what’s possible again, even if I ultimately choose a simpler, more routine life.

Wherever you are in your NET cancer journey, I hope you choose to live like it’s spring again. Look for new beginnings. Enjoy the small joys. Let life refresh and restore you.

NCAN is here to support you as you reset your outlook and hold on to hope for life, love, and laughter. Reach out if you need us. We’re here. For you.